My 4 year old and 7 year old children won't listen to me.
I tell them to do something and they don't do it. I tell them to stop doing something and they keep doing it no matter
how many times I tell them to stop. What can I do to make them listen? I don't like hearing myself yell at them
all the time.
- Lost
my voice
Dear Lost,
This problem is easily solved, so don't fret. It won't
even take a lot of work on your part, just
stick-to-itive-ness.
First
of all, there is no need to yell They hear you no matter what level your voice is. Raising your voice just gets
your blood pressure up and is not at all effective in getting them to listen in the long run.
Tell
them to do whatever it is you want them to do in a normal voice, down at their level, so you are sure they have heard you.
If they don't listen, immediately tell them they have lost a privilege. (Can't watch favorite tv program, no video game
time, no dessert, whatever you know will mean something.) There is no warning for the consequence, just immediate statement
of it after they have not listened.
They will, of course, protest, beg, plead, etc. But
you MUST stick to your statement or your problem will get worse. Your children MUST see you are sure of your decision
and will not budge.
When they don't listen when you tell them to stop, it has
been my experience that at time-out, done well, is very effective.
Let's
say your 4 year old is swinging a toy around her head, not caring who might get hit and you tell her to stop. Let me
guess... she looks at you and keeps doing it, right? At this point, you can say "1" wait a moment, "2"
wait a moment, and "3- time-out." The time out should be in a corner, removed from the immediate vicinity
of the rest of the group, or at least against a wall, also removed from the group.
This
sort of time-out, which should last at least a few minutes, no screaming or crying allowed, is very effective. I think
you will see results. You can even do it without the 1-2-3 warning.
The
main thing to remember, no matter what technique you use, is you MUST BE CONSISTENT. Do not waver.
Try
this for a few weeks and I think you will see good results.
-Erin
POLL OF THE MONTH:
Do you use cloth diapers? If so, why, if not, why not?
Send me a detailed email and I'll publish the results of the poll and include them in my book.
Erin@EveryBabyBook.com
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News You Can Use...
Try these Great
Tips...
Does your little one cry out for a drink of water at night?
Hang a cup holder designed for a car door or stroller handle on the rail of the crib or headboard of the bed. If your
little one wants a drink, he can help himself!
Traveling with a little
one? Put painter's tape or duct tape over the speakers of her noisy toys so she can play happily on the airplane and
in hotels without disturbing other travelers!
Shy about breastfeeding in public
but don't like the style of nursing shirts? Wear a nursing tank or camisole or belly band under your shirt so that when
you lift your shirt, your belly isn't exposed!
Have a little one in diapers?
Need feeding supplies? BPA free cups? Organic baby food and snacks?
Use the coupon code
BabyBook for $10 off of your first
order at: www.diapers.com They
have the best prices and orders ALWAYS arrive in just one or two days, straight to your door. I used them when I lived
overseas and continue to use them now that I am back in the US.
Current Recalls:
For immediate notification of recalls, you can subsribe to the Consumer Product Safety
Commission's email list at the link below, just click on the infant/child list and enter your email address.
Cloth diapers are easier to use than ever before. Here's why
you should choose them...
Your baby's comfort.
Would you like to wear stiff paper (and/or
plastic) underwear 24 hours a day? My kids have super sensitive skin that gets red from irritation after wearing
a disposable diaper for only a sort period. After being in cloth for only a day, the redness is gone. My two older
sons had diaper rash regularly and it was often severe, while my third son, who was cloth diapered, almost never had a rash
and when he did, it was always related to another illness.
Leaks.
Disposable diapers have endless blowouts and leaks out the sides, while cloth diapers immediately absorb nearly
all moisture so they rarely leak when used properly with good fit, even at night!
The environment.
Leave a cleaner world behind for your children
and your grandchildren. Disposables leave behind an average of 2.7 tons
of non-biodegradable waste (not to mention
the waste produced by manufacturing them alone) per child. Compare that to a few dozen cotton diapers, and the responsible
choice also becomes clear. The laundry energy and soap used are minimal. Each load of diapers requires only about
a quarter of the amount of detergent used in a regular load of laundry.
Save
money.
With disposables, some estimate you spend an average of more than $2000 per child. Cloth comes to only an average
of $150-$350 per child (with the added but minimal cost of electricity and water to launder them). What a great excuse
to start a college fund for your baby now, and you can rest assure that your money is being well-spent and not going to "waste"
in a land-fill!
Potty training is easier, and happens earlier.
It's a little-known fact that cloth diaper
children potty train earlier, and with less effort on their parents' part. This phenomenon has mostly to do with the fact
that when a cloth diaper is wet, they can feel the sensation. Chemical laden disposables can feel so dry, your baby never
gets a chance to understand what their body is doing.
Cotton diapers are chemical free.
Polyacrylate gel in diapers is a relatively new phenomenon, and no one really knows what the long term effects
are. It also leaches moisture from your babies skin. Additionally, disposables are full of dioxins. While
non-organic cotton cloth diapers can also have dioxins, they typically are washed out within the first few pre-washes (before
your baby will ever wear them), however one-use-only disposables are never rid of them. The dioxin and bleach in disposables
are part of what contributes to toxic shock syndrome. Some studies have shown that adults who wore disposable diapers
as babies now have fertility problems from the leaching chemicals.
Additionally, and perhaps the most compelling reason to use cloth diapers,
is that disposable diapers containing polyacrylate gel are suspected of exacerbating,
and even causing, asthma.
Convenience.
Convenience? Yes, convenience! You'll never have to worry about making
another late-night trip to your grocery store for a package of disposable diapers.. You'll never have to hold your nose while
emptying and re-bagging one of those complicated "Diaper Genie®" contraptions.. And you'll have approximately two bags less of garbage to haul to the curb every
week! Plus, the poop smell is not as strong when it doesn't react with chemicals in disposables.
Being a leader is much more fun than
being a follower.
Stand out from the crowd and show you care to
give your baby the very best, including the way you diaper. It's so much more fun to share the joy of cloth diapering with
other mothers (who are usually very curious!), than to waste time clipping the latest coupons for the cheapest disposable
paper diaper.