Dear Erin, My 9 month old is not sleeping through the night.  She wakes up and cries at least once, usually twice, every night.  I nurse her and she goes back to sleep.  It only takes 20 minutes or so, but I'm so tired.  Does she need the middle of the night feedings?   Please Help! Signed, Sleepy Dear Sleepy, It is unlikely that your daughter needs two middle of the night feedings.  If she is healthy and growing well, she probably has the ability to sleep through the night but has developed the habit of looking for you when she wakes up.  If you nurse her to sleep before bedtime and naps, she wakes up and wonders what happened to you.  She fell asleep, warm, snuggled in your arms, suckling, then when she wakes up, she's alone in her bed, so she calls for you and needs your help to fall back to sleep.  We all wake up several times during the night and go back to sleep after a fluff of a pillow, or a change in position.  What you need to do is teach your daughter to put herself back to sleep.  There are several schools of thought regarding how to do this... You can do it gently... If you normally let her nurse until she stops on her own, next time, watch the clock.  If it's 20 minutes, then next time, gently pull her off the breast after 18.  The next night, 16 and so on...  If she protests, try soothing her in another way.  Rock her, pat her back, whatever works.  How strictly and how quickly you use this method is up to you.  Eventually, you can just pick her up when she cries and not nurse her.  It would help if your husband could go to her instead so she doesn't associate nursing with the soothing.  Next, you can go to her and  comfort her while she remains in the bed, patting her and  whispering to her.  Finally,  you can  soothe her with just your voice and gradually move further from her bed.  Eventually, she will not call to you because she will be able to soothe herself. Or you can use the cry it out method... When she cries for you, go to her but do not pick her up.  Pat her and assure her, and yourself, she is ok and tell her to go back to sleep.  Tell her night time is for sleep and you'll pick her up in the morning.  Leave the room.  Wait 5 minutes, or less, if you can't wait.  Go back in but do not touch her.  Just reassure her again and leave.  Next, wait a few minutes longer.  Repeat this process, increasing the length of your absence each time, until she stops crying.  This method often works in just a few days but it's very hard to listen to your baby cry so long. If you use this method, you have to accept that there will be a lot of crying (perhaps you AND the baby) but it won't last forever.  Don't quit halfway through, thinking you'll try again the next night because it will only get harder.  She'll learn that you'll come in and pick her up eventually and cry longer.  Either way,  keep in mind that  it's a temporary problem.  Even if you use the slowest, most gentle method and it takes 2 months, think about the face that the two months will pass either way and in the end, you can have your nights back, or not, and stick with it. Good Luck! -Erin	Dear Erin, I can't get my 6 month old baby to sleep through the night or take good naps.  I've tried keeping her up later but it is not working.  Can you help? -So tired Dear Tired, There are many things you can try to encourage healthy sleep for your baby, but nothing is guaranteed.  Here are some tips to give you your best chance. If your baby is less than 6 months old, you really should go with her routine of night wakings, feeding her each time.  Once she is past 6 months, you can try to sleep train her but many people like to wait until 8 or 9 months. The most important thing is to get the baby to sleep about 14 hours per day, including night sleep and naps.  If your baby is restless, not napping well and getting up a lot at night, she might be over tired.  I know this sounds counterintuitive, but try putting her to bed earlier.  6:30 is a good place to start but if you are currently putting her to bed much later than that, try a half hour earlier every other night, gradually moving to 6:30.  Put her down for naps at a consistent time as well.  Her morning nap should come about two hours after she wakes up and her afternoon nap should conclude at least 3 hours before her bedtime.  When she is awake, engage her.  Read to her and play with her.  When she starts to turn away from you or get fussy, she is likely tired and ready to sleep.  Watch her cues.  Sleep begets sleep, the more the better.  Try this for a few weeks and I think you will see good results. -Erin Dear Erin, My 3 year old comes into our bed at about 3:00 every night.  He's hardly even awake and I tell him every night that he needs to stay in bed but the night visits happen every night.  How can I get him to stay in his bed? From, No Room at the Inn Dear No Room, Before you put your son to bed at night, explain that from this point on he has to sleep in his own bed.  Tell him that during the day you have lots of time together, you'll read an extra book or two, whatever appeals to him, but at night, he needs to stay in his bed in his room.  When he shows up in your room, despite what you've said, as hard as it is to leave the comfort of your bed, get up, take him by the hand and walk him back to his bed.  Say very little to him.  Something like "back to bed" should suffice.  Tuck him in and leave the room. You'll probably have to do this several, perhaps more than 10, times.  Persist.  Eventually he will realize that you are not going to change your mind and he will go to sleep.  If you don't waver from the plan, it should work quickly and you'll have your bed to yourself. -Erin
Dear Erin, I just moved my 2 1/2 year old daughter from her crib to a twin bed. I need the crib for my baby. Now my toddler will not stay in her bed. She cries, comes out of her room and is up throughout the night. She used to be a great sleeper and now our nights are miserable! Please help! -Bleary Eyed Mom Dear Bleary Eyed Mom, I feel your pain. I went through this with my second son when when we moved him to a regular bed after he started jumping out of the crib at age 2. The best thing you can do for your daughter is keep your bedtime routine consistent, put her in her bed, reassure her that she is safe, her bed is great for her, like yours is for you, she must stay in her room. Leave when she is tired, but not sleeping. It is a mistake to lay down with her until she is asleep because she will wake up later and cry because she doesn't know where you are. When she comes out of her room after you have put him to bed, simply take her by the hand, say, "it's night time and you must stay in your bed. Goodnight," walk her back to her bed, tuck her in and leave. If she stays in bed and cries out for you, go to the doorway, reassure her and then leave. Keep your interactions as low-key and boring as possible so that she is not rewarded for her antics. If she will not stay in her room, you can put a gate at the door. It may seem cruel, but it's for her own good. You are helping her learn to sleep on her own. With my son, we had to put two gates at the door. I would stay where I could see him, but he could not see me, so I would know if he was trying to climb the gates and stop him to keep him safe. There were many nights when he would fall asleep on the floor near the doorway. I'd go in and carry him to his bed. It seems like it will last forever, I know, but if you are consistent, never giving in, you will have success quickly. Good Luck, -Erin UPDATE... The writer of the above letter purchased a gate after reading my response. Here is her update... "After reading your advice, we ordered a gate for her room. I like to call it the magic gate. Once I put it up it took a couple nights to adjust back to her same schedule, but she went to sleep on her own immediately and now is even taking naps again. Dreamy! No pun intended!!! Thanks a Million!"	Dear Erin, My baby is 3 weeks old and seems to sleep all day and then wakes up more at night.  She wants to nurse all the time.  Will she ever develop a schedule? From, New Mom Dear New Mom, Newborn babies sleep and eat most of the time.  You have to just follow her lead at first.  You can try to keep her up after a feeding or before a feeding, but really, when she is so young, keeping her up is not possible and if you succeed, it will only make her more fussy because she will be tired.  Babies' brains develop while they sleep, so let her sleep.  Once she is about 6 weeks to 2 months old she will be more alert and it will be easier to see a schedule, if you look closely.  When she wakes in the morning, nurse her or give her a bottle.  She will then have a period of alertness.  Take advantage of this time to talk to her, smile at her, sing to her.  You will be rewarded with coos and smiles.  When you see her start to yawn or look away from you more, it is a sign she is tired.  Do what you can to soothe her to help her drift off to sleep.  If she takes a pacifier, give it to her. If she likes to be rocked, do that.  Once she is asleep, or nearly there, put her to bed.  You'll find that she takes a good nap at this point.  When she wakes, feed her again and repeat the process.  Ideally, when she is in this stage, don't let her sleep more than 3 hours at a time during the day.  Wake her to feed her every 3 hours.  Doing this will help her get more calories during the day and increase your chances of her sleeping longer at night.  Good luck.  Enjoy your baby!!! -Erin